Perfection
by kittykatloren
Summary: "My name is N," he told White as he stared into the future. Her face still lingered, even in his ethereal dream. "Pokémon should have a world of their own, since this one will never be satisfactory..." B/W gameverse, N/White pairing  aka Touko or Hilda .
1. I

**A/N:** So I wrote this multiple-chapter fic for LJ's pokemonbigbang contest. It was so much fun to challenge myself like that, and I love the way this story turned out. Huge thanks to my beta,** quotemyfoot**, this story would be nothing without you!

Other notes... The way I formatted this (and practically everything I write) is in a series of scenes, alternating between current time (the basic storyline of B/W) and N's past (headcanon!). Also, when I was writing this I listened to David Cook's new album This Loud Morning pretty much on repeat. It's a good album. I don't know how much that contributed to the story, but I thought I'd mention it.

Please read and review!

**Disclaimer:** In the second flashback scene, Anthea and Concordia sing a song to N. I did not write the lyrics of that song. They were written by David Norona for Eric Whitacre's choral composition, Sleep. I sang it with my choir last year and it's a beautiful piece - the lyrics stuck with me and fit in so perfectly with this story that I couldn't help but include them.

* * *

><p><em>They are eleven when they first meet him. Ghetsis brings him to the two sisters as a mere toddler clinging to his father's arm, and he pushes the boy unceremoniously towards them, forcing him to walk on his own. He is so small, so scared, that he can do no more than stumble.<em>

"_This is the purpose for which the two of you were born," Ghetsis says. "Two women could never be my heirs, so I sent you away until I needed you. But this boy… this is N. He is three. Take care of him. Anything you need will be provided at my discretion. Your brother – your lord – depends on you and rules you."_

_Ghetsis's cold eyes fix on his son's terrified ones. Though their color is the same, the lights behind them could not be more disparate. Ghetsis leaves without looking back, and N watches him go, wide-eyed._

_The twins trade a glance. They are only eleven. They are just girls, hovering on the cusp of becoming women. But then they see N, and as one, they kneel to the level of someone even younger and more helpless than themselves._

"_I am Anthea."_

"_I am Concordia."_

_They both smile._

"_We love you, N."_

* * *

><p>Even from a distance, he could easily tell that the crowd was moved. He could see it in the little things, feel it in the strange thickness that spread through the air as Ghetsis spoke. Discomfort traveled in waves as real as light and sound, and it was as contagious as laughter, as disease. Heads were turning, people were fidgeting, and the murmuring that filled the courtyard never grew loud enough to cover Ghetsis's voice. A single consciousness had agreed to be riveted by his every word.<p>

N watched it all with discerning eyes. He had not seen much of the world yet, but he had seen this. He had been raised with this feeling. Unconsciously he palmed the new Pokéball at his belt, turning it over absently in his hand. The side that had been nearer to his skin was warmed by his body heat; the other side was cool, exposed to the autumn air.

Ghetsis's final words echoed through the courtyard. He and his followers departed. N waited. The disconcerted crowd, the tension in the air… N's breath came in a trembling rhythm, shaken by anticipation. Goosebumps prickled along his arms as, slowly, the anxious listeners dispersed.

Only one person remained. N frowned. Lingering after one of Ghetsis's speeches was atypical, practically unheard of – Ghetsis's aura discomfited his audience so much that they always scurried back to their lives with dark thoughts lingering in their memories. No one liked to stay at the scene. But here, someone hadn't moved a muscle. It was a young girl, too, with lots of bushy dark hair and a brand-new bag slung over one shoulder. A whole minute passed, and the girl didn't move, so N, curious, approached her.

She noticed his approach at once and watched him grow nearer with a guarded expression.

"Who are you?" she said boldly, before N could speak.

"Is that a polite way to greet a stranger?" he said, flashing her a small smile, one that he had only begun to practice in the past few months.

"Well, excuse me for being a bit wary after that," she said, jerking her head at the courtyard's raised dais. She crossed her arms and scowled.

So she didn't agree with Ghetsis. And she was adamant and strong-willed.

"It caused quite the sensation, didn't it?" said N.

The girl appeared to relax a little, but like those times in his past when he knew an injured Pokémon didn't yet trust its savior, N could still sense the girl's unease. "It's just unbelievable," she said sadly. "Don't you think? How anyone could say that about Pokémon, our lifelong friends…"

"Unheard of." His voice was easy, almost pleasant, and yet his fingers began to tremble slightly; he tightened his hands into fists to still his rising emotion.

"Yeah," she agreed, nodding. She shivered. Then she extended her hand with a smile. "My name's White. I just started my journey – I'm from Nuvema Town."

"So you have your own Pokémon, then?"

"Yeah!" she said excitedly, bringing out two shiny Pokéballs. "Do you? I see your Pokéballs there, on your belt – you do! We should have a battle!"

"And you think that's kind to these Pokémon?" N said coolly, his eyes locked on hers. "Forcing them to fight and harm each other? Our lifelong friends, as you called them… participating in such senseless violence, perhaps against their will, purely for our whims?"

The girl, White, despite all her earnestness, could only stare at him for a moment. Then she blinked. Her keen eyes narrowed dangerously. "So you're one of them, too. Those Team Plasma idiots." Her tone was sharp, though she barely moved her lips. "I don't believe that rubbish. My Pokémon are my friends, my companions. They fight for me because they love me, and I them – our passions are the same! They're happy with me, fighting with me!"

N smirked. "Prove it."

She released her two Pokémon with astonishing speed. An Oshawott and a Lillipup, both sparkling with health and vitality – and in their eyes was something else entirely, something beyond the physical.

"Lily, you first," she said, and the Lillipup bounded forward.

For once, N's heart began to beat just a little bit faster. It was an odd, tight, and unfamiliar feeling, these nerves. He released Purrloin first. With just a flick of their wrists, the battle began. Claws and teeth glimmered in the setting sun as they flashed out, raked across fur, then slipped back to defend.

"Tackle, Lily!"

"Assist!" yelled N.

A thunderbolt shot from Purrloin and caught White's Lillipup by surprise. The little Pokémon took the hit directly and crumpled, badly singed.

N relaxed, sure the round was over. But then the little Pokémon struggled slowly to its feet, breathing hard, but with eyes still shining with that strange spirit. The Lillipup barked and growled, and N's ears rang. Blinking, N ordered another attack at once.

"Pursuit, Purrloin!"

"Dodge it and use Sand Attack!"

Blow after blow, the Lillipup hung on, so bravely – until finally, it could take no more. N's heart cringed to see such a courageous little creature fall so wearily, but that, of course, was always the consequence of a Pokémon battle. Purrloin, too, was weak and battered. White's determination didn't waver. She picked up her Lillipup with care, kissed its cheek, and returned it to its Pokéball.

The tenderness in her motions and her whispers made N, for a second, forget to breathe.

But no – this was a battle – there could be no "happy" relationship, nothing touching, between Pokémon and trainer during something as a brutal as a battle.

"Go, Oshawott!" White said fiercely. "Water Gun!"

Purrloin was down at once. N winced. He had been careless. Calling Purrloin back, N took a deep breath, his next Pokéball clutched tight in his palm.

"Zebstrika! Go!"

He had this. Type. Power. Experience. He expected to see White blanch, then perhaps try to cover it with bravado and courage in the face of the impossible. But he, N, would always know the truth; there was no way for her to win.

"Razor Shell, Oshawott!" screamed White.

And then he heard it. Amongst the battle's chaos, the voice of White's Pokémon resounded in his ears, in his mind, in his soul. It sang a long-lost melody, echoing from the Oshawott's every step and attack, from every gleam in its eye, from every determined cry. White's Pokémon, somehow, despite its imprisonment and its cruel labor… was singing for her, more strongly and beautifully than N had ever heard before. N swore his heart must have skipped a beat, perhaps more, for what else could leave him so breathless once again?

"Now, use Tackle!"

White's voice should have snapped N back to reality. But she, too, became part of her Pokémon's song. Their voices resonated in harmony.

N knew he was lost; he could only call out a few feeble attacks. Zebstrika collapsed, and White and Oshawott were both breathing hard, flushed with joy at their inconceivable victory. White jumped up and down in glee, celebrating like a child - she _was_ a child, really. N silently retrieved his fallen friend. While White hugged her Oshawott, N approached her, struggling to form words.

"I thought…" he began, then paused. "I heard their voices. I thought it would be impossible, to hear such…"

_Passion. Beauty. Spirit. Love._ The simplest words wrenched his heart into shapes he never knew it could attain, filled unknown gaps in his chest, and pressed painfully against his skin.

But it couldn't be. No Pokémon could ever feel that way about a human. As moments passed, as the anomaly faded into memory, N recovered himself.

"I don't understand you," he said at last. "But we will meet again, I am sure. I… I hope to hear your Pokémon again. I never expected… But still. My beliefs hold. It is unjust, it is wickedness at its worst, for us humans to confine Pokémon in Pokéballs. They are too magnificent, too glorious for such a world as this…"

As he spoke, his dream danced before his eyes. His words began to spill out in a rush. "My name is N," he told White as he stared into the future. Her face still lingered, even in his ethereal dream. "Pokémon should be free. They should have a world of their own, since this one, shared with our incompetence, will never be satisfactory… They will have a free world, a world to suit their wildest dreams…"

N blinked. His vision vanished, but White was still there. He extended his hand to her, but White did not take it. Her frown was more curious than hostile as she looked at him, almost studying him, it seemed, as if she were trying to figure him out.

"Well. Until next time."

With that, N nodded once more, turned, and departed. His heartbeat sounded unusually loud in his ears. Though he didn't look back, N could feel White's penetrating gaze following him down the road.

* * *

><p><em>Concordia sits on the edge of N's bed, Anthea at her feet, leaning against her legs. N is cradled amongst pillows and blankets so only his face and green hair are visible. Warmth settles into his limbs; he doesn't want to move. If he moves, the sheets are cold.<em>

"_The evening hangs beneath the moon,  
>A silver thread on darkened dune<br>With closing eyes and resting head  
>I know that sleep is coming soon…"<em>

_Concordia picks up the next lines, her voice less pure than Anthea's but her words more precise._

"_Upon my pillow, safe in bed  
>A thousand pictures fill up my head<br>I cannot sleep, my mind's aflight,  
>And yet my limbs seem made of lead."<em>

"_If there are voices  
>In the night<br>A frightening shadow  
>Flickering light…"<em>

"_Then I surrender unto sleep  
>Where clouds of dream<br>Give second sight…"_

"_What dreams may come both dark and deep  
>Of flying wings and soaring leap?<br>As I surrender unto sleep,  
>As I surrender unto sleep."<em>

_Their mixed melodies linger, repeat, build. Their voices blend to a soothing rhythm, soft but all-encompassing, as if they were the only sounds in the world. N's eyes are struggling to remain open, but in the tiny slivers of green still visible, they can see that he is at peace._

* * *

><p>"So. We meet again, White."<p>

He'd recognized her by her bushy brown hair and torn-up denim shorts, standing outside the Nacrene City Gym. She looked contemplative – until she heard his voice, and whipped around, eyes wide.

"You – N!" she said. "What are you doing here?"

He strolled casually up to her, though understandably, she was a little bit cool towards him. But something about her made him smile. "Same as you, really. Searching. Learning. Becoming stronger. Our goals are only the slightest bit different. Would you join me for a coffee, White? It's chilly out," he said, gesturing at the nearby café.

"You're unbelievable," she said. She didn't accept his offer, but nor did she turn around and leave him. She kept her distance as they walked down the road and into the café. Her lips pursed when N, without asking, paid for both coffees. They seated themselves at a table for two in the corner of the porch, tucked away from the other guests.

"Why are you following me?" she said without preamble, crossing her arms tightly.

"Why did you come with me just now?" he replied, and she frowned but didn't answer. "I'm not _following_ you. But I told you – our paths are similar. It is inevitable that they will cross."

"I'm not doing anything like what you're doing! You're trying to – to - "

She seemed unable to find the words to describe his apparent treachery. N met her eyes steadily. "I want you to hear me out, White," he said. "Our ideals are closer than you think."

"I'd _never_ - "

"No, listen. Your Pokémon… I can hear their voices. I heard _your_ voice. Love… that's what I heard. In all my life, I have never heard such passion in a Pokémon's voice. It was so perfect."

"What do you mean, you can hear them?" said White. "I mean, everyone can _hear_ them, but that's not what you meant, is it?"

"They speak to me," N said emphatically. "I can hear what they say in words as clear as yours, White. I hear it through my heart. I've been able to understand Pokémon's speech for as long as I can remember."

White uncrossed her arms and rested them on the table. "How can I be sure you're telling the truth?"

"Because I'm right, aren't I? Your Pokémon said they loved you. That's what you told me, too." He could tell by her expression that he was beginning to win her over with his argument. "See? It really is the truth. I _can_ hear them. But such a situation as yours, such love between Pokémon and trainer, is so rare. With the vast majority of those who call themselves Pokémon trainers - they are simply captors. Jailkeepers. I want to learn the truth."

"What truth?"

Her words were less sharp, less loud. Her eyes were wider, too, cautiously inquisitive. N leaned forward. He was speaking quickly now.

"The truth of the thoughts and feelings of Pokémon inside Pokéballs. The ideals of every trainer. Because when Pokémon are confined… I can no longer hear their voices. Don't you think Pokémon are happier when they are free? Isn't that why they fight so fiercely before being confined in a Pokéball? Close your eyes, White. Envision a perfect world, where Pokémon, in all their glory, roam free and happy forever. Can you see it? A perfect future?"

Across the small table, White's eyes were indeed closed. There was no angry tilt to her eyebrows, and her lips were no longer quite so thin. She was a very pretty girl, smooth skin and a heart-shaped face – and to N, her beauty became all the more pronounced now, even with the slight frown she wore as she contemplated his future. One of her hands rested on the table, so N took it in his. Her eyes opened – they were blue, a pale contrast with her dark hair – and there was no longer fire in her gaze; she stared, confused and cautious.

"Can you see it?" N said again.

Her fingers twitched. She dropped her gaze. "It's not right," she said. "The separation… it's not fair."

"But it's necessary."

She shook her head. "But all this talk… who are you to do anything about it anyway, N?"

He thought suddenly of his 18th birthday and his coronation, of Ghetsis slowly lowering the weight of Plasma's crown onto his head, of the trembling in his arms as he knelt there, all his hopes and dreams weighing heavily on his shoulders…

Something buzzed, and White jumped, pulling her hand away from N. "Oh!" she rummaged in her bag for a moment, pulling out a small device that N, with a heart-stopping jolt, recognized as a Pokédex – and then she finally found what she was looking for: a cross-transceiver. "Hi, Cheren, Bianca," she said into it. "Yeah, I'm in Nacrene City. Really? Well, maybe we can have dinner. Yeah, sure, Cheren, good luck with that. Um… is it all right if I call you back? I'm, um… Yeah. Bye!" She slipped it back into her bag. "Sorry," she said, reaching for her Pokédex.

N caught her hand once more, but this time, he didn't linger there; smoothly he slipped the Pokédex from between her fingers and opened it. "So," he said quietly as he browsed Pokémon data. His fingers shook with the effort of holding it still instead of slamming it into the hard cobblestones below. "You plan to… confine many Pokémon in Pokéballs, many that won't even know you, just to fill another slot on this _machine_."

White snatched her Pokédex back. "That's not what it's about! It's about learning more about them because we care about them. They're our _friends_."

"I would think you would want to give your friends the best, would you not? Freedom?"

"I…"

"You asked who I was to do anything about this," N said. "You're right. I am not strong enough yet. My friends and I… we don't yet have the power to create the right equation, the equation to save the world. We need more power… Power to make everyone see the truth. And I know where I will find it. Reshiram."

White frowned and raised a quizzical eyebrow. "Not… the hero's Reshiram?"

"The very same. The hero who created Unova in partnership with Reshiram. I will befriend Reshiram, and I, too, will be able to create a new world… Reshiram will be the last Pokémon to ever be confined. And I have a feeling, when such a time comes… you could be there, White. Perhaps you and I will be friends, in this new world."

White stood up so suddenly that she knocked her chair backwards, but neither of them reacted to the resulting crash. Heads turned, and whispers broke out in the patio; White's cheeks turned pink as she looked fleetingly at all the other patrons, all watching her. N rose slowly. When she passed him, trying to hurry away, N caught her arm, keeping her momentarily close. Her eyes flashed up to meet his. She jerked her shoulder to free herself.

"Thanks for the coffee," she said quietly. "I'll…"

She trailed off with another awkward glance at the curious crowd. But there was no hate in her eyes when she looked at him once more. When she departed, N's heart was pounding inexplicably, staring after her as she walked away, her head high and her back straight.


	2. II

Far below her, the shimmering sea rolled softly in the same wind that whipped her hair wildly across her face. Absently she tried to tuck it behind her ears, but to no avail; the wind simply grabbed it away again. The long stretch of Skyarrow Bridge on which she was standing was oddly deserted. Or at least, it seemed that way to White, for the roaring wind swallowed all sound of any other nearby pedestrians.

"What are you looking at, White?"

White almost jumped. N had appeared seemingly out of nowhere, leaning on the railing and gazing out at the ocean just as she had been. His hair, too, was flying uncontrollably in the wind. But he looked so calm and unconcerned that White couldn't help but sigh and laugh a little. Part of her, she realized, had been expecting him to turn up sometime soon, after all.

"Well, I'm watching the sea, of course," White said.

"I find the bridge itself more fascinating," said N. "The ingenuity and precision used to build it must have been astounding."

"Oh, _wow_. Something we disagree on. Shocking," White said dryly, but N just frowned. White nudged his arm. "I'm just teasing, you know."

He fixed her with penetrating eyes. "I know you don't agree with me yet, White. But at the very least… do you trust me?"

"Well, I know you think I should." White studied him, considering. He certainly was always honest with her, almost uncomfortably so; even at their very first meeting, he had shared a great deal of his thoughts and feelings. Yet she could tell he was hiding something in that cool demeanor, too. He was not ordinary. He felt too strongly, believed too fully, in those novel, radical ideas of his to be an ordinary trainer.

"Ask me anything," N said. "Ask me anything you like, and I swear I will answer it truthfully."

_Anything?_ Her immediate thought was _Who are you?, _and yet, something held her back. The mystery intrigued her. She wanted to wait for him to tell her voluntarily, or for her to figure it out on her own. So she settled instead on, "Why is your name N? Just a letter, right?"

He smiled mysteriously. Was it a sad smile? She hadn't seen him smile much, she realized; the intensity in his expression usually masked any other emotion. But he had a handsome, natural smile. The setting sun cast a warm light across his face, sparkling in his eyes.

"The truth is I don't actually know," he said, and she could barely hear him over the wind. "I do not have… a typical family. My name is simply N. N Harmonia. I used to wonder what it meant, but I have long since given up wondering. It is my name. I am N."

"N Harmonia," White repeated. "It sounds musical." Standing up straight, White stretched on her tiptoes with her arms high above her head. A particularly fierce gust of wind nearly knocked her off balance; she would have crashed to the ground if not for N's arm quickly appearing around her waist, holding her still.

"Thanks," she said, feeling her cheeks tingle. He let go of her once she was steady again. White tried to tuck her hair behind her ears before she remembered the futility of such an attempt. "Well, I should be moving on. I don't want to be out here in the dark. Do you… want to walk to Castelia City with me, N?"

"Certainly."

It was pleasant, walking next to him. It surprised her. They talked about nothing, and it wasn't until the end of the bridge that their conversation came around to their Pokémon. It had been so easy to talk to him that White had forgotten his antipathy toward the act of catching Pokémon. She pulled out a shiny new Pokéball. "I caught a Petilil in the forest," she said happily. "And outside of Castelia City, there's a big desert. I'm hoping to catch lots of Pokémon there, it's supposed to be great for – for…"

She trailed off once she noticed his face. It was not dark with anger, but his gaze was downcast; he placed his hands in his pockets and refused to meet her eyes.

"Look, I'm sorry," she said bluntly, "but I still don't understand why you think it's so terrible. Do you think I'm not going to love them? Do you think I'm going to hurt them? They're my friends, my partners, and I care about each and every one of them. I love my Pokémon."

"You, perhaps. But not everyone is like you, White." Now he was looking straight at her, his gaze piercing.

"I'm sorry," she said again. "I just… don't really understand. But…"

Behind them, the sun had almost touched the ocean horizon. The dim evening light gave her courage. White let her impulse take over, and she kissed him quickly on the cheek.

"I'll see you around, N," she said, then hurried away on her own into downtown Castelia, wondering what his expression was like now.

* * *

><p>"<em>Why?" N cries into their arms one day. He is barely eight. "Why are they hurting? Why?"<em>

_Anthea pulls N close and rests her forehead against his. Slowly, his tears ebb, but he still trembles. It is all she can do for him. Her eyes grow wet, just as his had been. Concordia lays a comforting hand on her shoulder, but still Anthea cries as N grows calmer in her arms. _

"_Do you feel a tightness in your chest, N?" says Concordia. N nods. "A pain different from any you have known before? One that is born inside you, not like when you fall or bleed. This is less sharp and, right now, much more painful, isn't it?" _

_N nods again. Anthea persists in holding him, tears falling silently into his hair. _

"_This is called love, N," Concordia continues in a soft voice. "This is your love for the Pokémon that you have met. You love them, and so you feel what they feel, a hundred times over. You inherit their pain, their sorrow, and your heart takes the blow. That is the tightness in your chest right now. The emotions are too much for any one heart, so it overflows and suffocates you inside."_

"_I hate it," N says shakily. "I hate love. I don't want to love. I just want them to be happy. How can I help them if I cry? If I'm hurt?"_

"_You cannot hate love. Love is what makes you desire their happiness, don't you see? And love will enable you to help them. When you take their pain into your heart, you heal them. Then their wholeness will flow into you, and yours into them; then you are both whole, and you are connected forever. Love is not just pain. Love is joy and warmth, even if its herald is worry and fear. Do you understand, N?"_

_A gentle nod rubs against Anthea's chest. Concordia smiles._

"_Both people and Pokémon can love. Someday, you will know this feeling in its entirety. Remember, N. Remember to love. Promise?"_

"_I promise."_

* * *

><p>This time, N was looking for her. He felt like a boy again, simply waiting for something to happen rather than being the catalyst. But he <em>had<em> to wait for her because he _had_ to see her again; he had to know where she stood, if she believed him yet or not. He couldn't hide the thrill he felt when he finally noticed her in the distance. He kept out of sight until she ran past, chasing after the two Team Plasma members who had been assigned to Nimbasa City. She stopped, breathing hard, looking rather lost.

He stepped forward. "You're looking for Team Plasma, right? They ran into the amusement park. Come with me."

White didn't seem surprised to see him. She took his offered hand apparently without a second thought, following him past the Nimbasa Gym and into the little park in front of the Ferris wheel. Team Plasma was nowhere in sight, but White seemed to have caught her breath a little bit. There was a lingering silence between them while each waited for the other to speak first. White was the braver one.

"It's… good to see you again, N," she said. She seemed sincere, which was a relief; her initial wariness in their first meetings had pained him.

He returned the greeting with a nod. "They're not here," he said, looking around. "Why don't we ride the Ferris wheel? Perhaps we can see them from such a height."

White nodded, so they proceeded into the building that housed the entrance to the Ferris wheel. A bored-looking employee greeted them. "Welcome to Nimbasa's Rondez-View Ferris Wheel, the largest Ferris wheel in all of Unova. Five dollars per ride, per person. Please leave your Pokéballs in the safe containers beside the counters, and enjoy your ride on Nimbasa's Rondez-View Ferris Wheel."

Once again, without asking, N paid for both himself and White, but this time she didn't seem bothered by it. As he reached for his wallet, and White for her Pokéballs in her bag, they realized at the same moment that they were still holding hands. White dropped his at once, and N caught a brief glimpse of pink cheeks before she turned away to place her Pokéballs in the safe.

A dark mood swept over N as he locked his and White's Pokémon in the safe. White must have noticed, for she asked, "Why can't we take our Pokémon with us?"

"Because if they were released while in the ride, their weight might be too much. Imagine if someone tried to release a Beartic in there. Pandemonium," N explained. White smiled, and the sight cheered him a little and took his mind off the Pokémon in confinement. "Let's go."

The cart was shaped like a Pokéball. _Oh, the irony,_ thought N, as he offered White his hand. She took it and stepped inside with good grace, sitting down and staring immediately out the window. N followed her lead as the cart began to climb. "Beautiful," he murmured, watching the perfect mechanics.

"Yeah, it is," White said. Her gaze was drifting over the distant landscape: misty forests, deep seas, and snow-capped mountains. Her eyes were as blue as that same deep ocean. He wished, though, that she would turn that gaze on him once more.

"Why did you say it's good to see me again?"

Immediately she looked at him, smiling bemusedly. "Well, because it's true? You're… interesting, N."

"Interesting. I can't tell if you're complimenting me or insulting me."

"You think too much," she said, rolling her eyes. "Hey, do you want to see my hometown?"

N rose and sat next to her. White took his hand and had him point to the southeast. At first, he couldn't imagine how she thought she could see her town; the view was too broad, almost overwhelming in its complexity and beauty. He would rather look at the spokes of the Ferris wheel; _that_, he understood.

"See? Right there? Near the coast, all surrounded by trees. That's Nuvema Town."

Still he couldn't see it. But he didn't say anything. White's hand released his to spread itself against the glass, pale and small. She had to stretch across him to reach, and it brought her very close to him.

"It's cold," White said. "Winter's really here."

N placed his hand on top of hers, enclosing her slender fingers in his palm. "Is that better?" he asked. Their faces were so close he could feel her quick breathing tickling his cheek.

All was silent save for the ticking and rumbling of the ride. A strange look had come into White's eyes, a look that mirrored the strange feeling in his heart; it seemed somehow nervous and eager at the same time. Before N had time to blink, he felt her lips press against his own. At first, they were both still. Then N touched that smooth skin of her face and, by instinct, kissed her in return, for once thinking of nothing, nothing save for the feel of her lips and her soft cheek. Her hand twisted under his, their fingers twining, gripping each other tightly.

"Have you ever done that before?" she asked when they broke apart.

"No." Heat permeated his body, emanating from her hand tight around his. It was new, nerve-wracking, bliss; even more so when she kissed him again then leaned into him, her head falling on his shoulder. Gently N placed an arm around her; it seemed the right thing to do.

_The right thing to do…_

"There's something I have to tell you." he said suddenly. He paused just enough long enough to give her time to straighten and look at him, frowning curiously.

"White… I am the king of Team Plasma. Ghetsis asked me to work with him to save Pokémon."

For a second, nothing happened. White only stared. N's heart leapt, thinking that she somehow already knew and didn't care, that she was on his side at last. But then her expression began to change, ever so slowly, from blank incomprehension to shock to dismay. She dropped his hand and slid away from him, though on the short seat she could not go far.

"And here I was, thinking we were starting to become friends," she said at last in a feeble attempt at offhandedness, but the angry tremor in her voice gave her away. Quickly she returned to staring out the window. The Ferris wheel had passed its peak now, and they were descending steadily.

"We are," said N, emphatic. "We are not so different, are we? We both love Pokémon and want what we believe is best for them. Only there do we disagree. And yet, I feel…"

She was still determinedly looking away from him. N found himself desperate to see her eyes once more, so he leaned toward her, tilting his head. "Look at me, White. Please."

Finally, with a sigh of frustration, she turned her head. Her arms were crossed and her brow furrowed.

"I think there's a reason we continue to be drawn to one another," he said softly. He was very aware of the proximity of their faces, of their knees almost touching, her chest rapidly rising and falling. "I think it's you, White. You're the one who's meant to challenge me. To challenge my truths that you don't believe. Someday… one of us will be right."

"And until then?" said White, her voice icy.

A clank and a swinging stop swallowed N's response. N leapt out of the cart so he could offer her a hand that she didn't accept, but she did stop in her tracks, staring at him.

The jaded employee coughed and jerked her head at the safe. "Please pick up your Pokéballs and proceed to the exit. Thank you and please come again."

With Pokéballs safely stowed away, they proceeded outside, walking close together but not touching. The air was brisk and fresh; N could smell snow coming soon. Across the courtyard, the two Team Plasma members were hunched and muttering in low voices, and White jumped.

"There you are!" she yelled, and she made to run towards them. N had to leap forward to catch her arm in time.

"My lord N!"

"Sire! You're all right!"

"Go," he shouted at his shocked comrades as they stared at him restraining the struggling girl. "I'll buy you time. Get out of here."

"_NO!_" White shouted, fighting him even more fiercely. "Let go of me, _let go_ - "

"White, calm down. Listen to me, White!"

"I can't believe I trusted you for even a second!" she said, ripping her arm out of his grasp at last. Without wasting a moment, she drew her hand back and slapped him across the face.

Shock alone kept N from stumbling backward at her strike. Instead, he simply stood there, frozen, his cheek burning where her hand had touched. Though N was not sure any longer whether it had been worth the price paid, he had at least done what he had meant to do – all White's energy was focused on him now, and the two Team Plasma members were long gone.

"I can't believe I…" She covered her mouth with her hand, hiding half her face. She stumbled backwards, away from him. "I thought I could help you understand! But you're one of them, through and through, nothing matters to you but hurting Pokémon and those who love them!"

The thoughtless warmth that had claimed N just a few short minutes ago might as well have never existed. "That's not true," he said quickly. "White, you know that's not true! All I want is a world of peace and happiness. And I – having access to near endless resources because of the power of Ghetsis and Team Plasma – _I_ have the ability to make a difference. I can create that perfect world. But I need to become stronger. I need to be challenged. I need you!"

"So I'm just a tool in your path to destruction?" White spat.

"No. No, White. That's not what I meant. You're the only one who might be able to stop me," N said desperately. "Hear me out, White. Please."

After a pause, she nodded shortly. N took a deep breath.

"I'm trying to make you see… It's up to you. We could work together and create utopia. Or you can battle against me with all your heart, and then this world – with its positives _and_ negatives – might remain. Do you understand?"

He hoped rather than believed his words were true. He _needed_ her to challenge him, if only because he wanted to see her again.

"I don't think your dream is utopia," said White, and N was glad to see that her temper had cooled. Her manner displayed maturity beyond her years. "But I think I understand, N. You want what you think is best, and I disagree with you on that, but… I understand _believing _in something. Even if we don't believe in the same thing…"

At those words, relief flooded N in such volumes that he thought he would drown in it. He missed her next words. Stepping close to her, N pressed his palm to her flushed cheek once more, soaking in every detail of the moment: her bright blue eyes staring up at him, her reddened lips slightly parted, her unique balance between determination and sympathy. She drew back at the sudden contact, but she didn't drop her gaze.

"I'm going to defeat the Champion and become unbeatable," he promised. "I will attain enough strength to demand that all Trainers free their Pokémon from bondage. Try and stop me, White. I crave your challenge… If you want to remain together with your Pokémon, collect all eight gym badges, and meet me in Pokémon League. If your conviction is not strong enough, then you will never be able to defeat me. But if your beliefs are pure and true…"

The first of many harsh winter breezes rushed across them. Seeing her shiver, N stepped forward, tugged her coat tighter around her shoulders, and buttoned it for her; he did not want her to be cold. When he looked at her face again, her expression was resolute. She, at least, believed in his words.

"One day, we'll know," she said softly. N nodded.

This time, he leaned forward to kiss her. He couldn't resist. He had never known a feeling like this. Hands on her arms, bodies pressed close, N felt the beginning of her challenge in her response, for she returned the kiss with just as much fervor.

When finally they parted ways, no coming snow could freeze the warmth in his soul.


	3. III

"Cheren," White asked, "what do you think Pokémon are? Or should be, I mean? To people?"

"What?"

The sunset glowed ruby-red across the Driftveil Bay, making it look like a sea of blood. But the sight wasn't morbid to White. It was oddly beautiful, the glistening crimson ocean like the color of passion. The water lapped at their toes, warm compared to the chilly air. Distantly, the silhouette of a Pokémon leaping from the water appeared and disappeared in the blink of an eye.

"Do you mean like how we relate to them?" asked Bianca.

"Yeah. What's our duty to them?"

"Well, I think they're our friends," Bianca said frankly, flopping backwards onto the beach and spreading her arms through the sand. "More than anything else, they're friends to me, just like you guys. That's simple."

"Comrades," said Cheren. "Battle partners. Respected and mutually protected, and of course, loved. Champion Alder said that once, and I believe it, too."

"What made you ask, White? What d'you think?" said Bianca.

Absently White drew lines in the sand. First she drew random swirls, like waves, and then she blinked, and she found she had traced the letter _N_. With one swipe of the hand, it was gone.

Two months ago, her answer would have been simple. Her answer _had_ been simple. It was bright and innocent; they were "_Lifelong friends"_ and _"Loved more than anything_." But now N's words echoed relentlessly in her head. _Jailkeepers. Senseless violence. Utopia. Not everyone is like you, White._ White blinked rapidly and shook her head to clear it.

"I don't know," she said at last. "Companions? All of the things you guys said are true… But I just wonder sometimes… about how we really feel like we _know_ what's right for them. How we just seem to _know_ that they want to fight with us, when really, we're just humans. Who are we to speak for Pokémon, you know? They're so different from us."

Both Cheren and Bianca were staring at her. Bianca's mouth was wide and her gaze confused, but Cheren's expression was mostly neutral, save for his narrowed, curious eyes.

"I'm not saying I think we're wrong. I know my Pokémon want to fight with me. There are real things that make it possible to know that, like when they leap into my arms after a victory, or burst out of their Pokéball eager to train. But that's my Pokémon. What if there are Pokémon out there who don't feel that way, not that many, but maybe some, or maybe a lot… that don't really want to… but because many do, we just assume…"

She trailed off. Bianca and Cheren's silence made her self-conscious, like she had to justify herself, which had never happened around them.

"It was just a thought," she mumbled. "I just want whatever's best for them."

"Sometimes Pokémon seem really happy in the wild," Bianca offered, breaking the awkward silence. "I usually don't catch them if they try really, really hard to get away. Maybe that's why I'm not so strong…"

Laughing, Cheren placed a hand on Bianca's shoulder; her head immediately turned to face him, a little pout on her lips, but he just smiled at her. "You're plenty strong, Bianca. You just need to have a little more faith in yourself."

As her two friends continued to talk, White's fingers danced in the sand again. She tried very hard not to think about N, not here, not when she should be relaxing and laughing and smiling with her friends. Thinking of him made her heart beat just a little too fast, distracting her, confusing her, so she settled on tracing pictures of nothings, like swirls and waves and stars.

* * *

><p>Throughout his travels, N stopped frequently to catch new Pokémon; he couldn't bear keeping any trapped for too long. He was searching for new companions outside of Driftveil City when a cry met his ears. A young Deerling, just starting to shed its winter coat, was trapped in the tall grass, looking weak and ill. Its friend stood beside it, also calling out for help, but there were no other Pokémon around.<p>

"This way," N said gently, approaching them with care. "Come on, it's alright. I'm not here to capture you."

Once behind the tall trees, the sick Deerling collapsed; nearly all of its strength had been spent on such a short journey. N had no idea what had made it so ill, but he saw no obvious injuries, so he pulled out some berries from a pouch in his pocket. "Here," he said, offering one to the Deerling. "This will make you feel lots better, I promise."

The little Pokémon's mouth was soft and ticklish on his palm as it nibbled at each berry N offered. He believed in natural remedies and carried no harsh potions with him; he resorted to bitter herbs only if absolutely necessary. But the little Deerling seemed healthier already. With the help of its friend, it began to stand shakily. N kept his hand buried in its fur. His touch, he knew, was powerful.

"There we go," said N. "That's better, isn't it? How did you get sick?"

The Deerling headbutted N's shoulder in thanks. _I ate some bad food, I think, _it said._ Somebody left what looked like smushed berries and old grey leaves out in the woods, and it smelled funny, but I didn't know any better, and I ate it._

Human trash. Of course. Humans were always the cause. N stroked the soft fur, pained by the familiarity of its plight, glad that at least he could provide solace. It was just like when he was little; the victims would come to him with fear in their eyes, and he would help them as best he could, giving them understanding and affection. Someday, surely, it would be this way for all Pokémon; he would liberate, _save_, every one.

_Thank you,_ said the Deerling.

"It was nothing," murmured N. The Pokémon left, healthy and happy. Rising to his feet, N peered between the trees before emerging. What he saw there made his heart skip a beat.

White was there, a new Pokémon by her side. It was a small Mincinno, with a tail as bushy as White's hair. They were gamboling in the long grass together – no, not just playing, they were training. If they saw a wild Pokémon, White and Mincinno began to fight, a gentle practice battle. If there were no wild Pokémon around, White offered herself as the target, waving her arms encouragingly and attempting – futilely – to dodge or defend. It was miraculous. Even from such a distance, N could hear Mincinno's voice.

_I want to do this forever,_ it said to White, as they both sat down and took a breather. _I want to be with you always!_

White couldn't hear Pokémon. Only N could. But the way White lifted the little creature in her arms, kissed its forehead, and smiled into its eyes, N knew that, somehow, she understood.

Only when his back hit a tree did N realize he had been backing away from the sight. It was beautiful, and it terrified him. _How?_ It was just like before, in Accumula Town, which he had tried so hard to forget. How could it be that there were such bonds, such relationships between people and Pokémon that were based on love, trust, and all of those things that he always believed, always _knew_, never existed between such fundamentally different beings…? _Impossible_.

And yet there it was. White was truly the impossibility he had never imagined. Oh, he had _talked_, he had spoken of her challenge; the idea had merit, after all, after what he had seen in Accumula Town. But until now, he had found no proof, and proof was everything.

Perhaps she was an anomaly. Perhaps she would be a necessary sacrifice to his dream of utopia. But then there were her friends… there were the trainers and gym leaders she had fought… He had not considered it before now, had not bothered to listen to their Pokémon, too…

"I can't," he said aloud. He closed his eyes tight and waited for White and her Pokémon's voices to fade. It was almost nightfall before they left, but he didn't care. He crept away without speaking to her, his mind much too full to form coherent thoughts.

* * *

><p><em>He feels Ghetsis's eyes boring into him as he tends to the dying Pokémon. His heart skips a beat and the breath in his lungs runs suddenly cold. The little Zorua is so weak, and there is so much blood on its fur; N's hands are dyed red when he picks up the Pokémon in his trembling arms.<em>

"_What… what can I do?" N says, looking up at Ghetsis. "Please… don't let him die…"_

_Ghetsis remains silent and hard-eyed. N looks again at the Zorua. Its chest is barely rising and falling. If he himself were barely breathing… what would he want to be done? When has he ever felt so helpless and frail as this Pokémon? How can he understand its pain?_

_He imagines arms encircling him. Warm, loving arms. He remembers the way that his fear and misery disappear when he feels such an embrace. So he pulls the Zorua close to his chest, his beating heart. He focuses every ounce of his being into pouring the love and unity of his soul into the Pokémon's torn flesh and fluttering, weak heart. If he wants to enough, if he really, really wants to, he can heal, his touch can heal…_

_N opens his eyes. He hadn't noticed closing them, nor had he noticed the tears leaking from them. But in his arms, the small bundle of fur wriggles. Its eyes open – clear and bright. It stretches and touches its nose to N's cheek._

_N stares up at Ghetsis. The man gives N a brief nod and leaves without another word, leaving the young boy alone with a blood-covered shirt and a mewling, healthy baby Pokémon._

* * *

><p>The glittering stones around him brought perfection to mind: in Chargestone Cave, all was smooth and beautiful. The static power sparkling every which way illuminated the darkest walls and the dullest rocks; everything glowed with subtle energy. The place reminded him of the world of his dreams: flawless, potent, natural.<p>

"N!"

He should have known he'd meet her here. N took a moment to compose himself. He wondered if she'd look different to him, if she'd _be_ different, now that he knew for certain that she was his one true obstacle. Perhaps the "them" that he had come to know and their relationship with each other would be different, too. Knowledge was everything, and N knew, now. He knew what she was, and that knowledge made that magnetic pull she seemed to exert over him all the stronger.

Carefully constructing a smile, N turned to face her at last. She was blazing with energy, her skin iridescent in the static light. The charged stones matched her eyes perfectly. Before he knew what he was doing, N reached for her and kissed her gently, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. So far, _they_ had not changed so much.

"Do you know where we are?" he said.

"'Course I do," said White, a bare smile playing on her lips. "Chargestone Cave. What about it?"

"I like this place. The electricity creates the ideal habitat for the Pokémon here, providing them with light and energy. It's… perfect in here. There's no need for humans."

White's gaze was keen. "And yet, we're here."

N took her hand and led her to the nearest towering, sparkling stone, radiating bluish light, sparking occasionally. White looked both nervous and excited. N nodded toward the stone. "Touch it."

"Only if you do," she shot back, grinning.

"Very well," N said, "together, then?"

White nodded, her face alight. She grasped his hand, then lifted her other hand, motioning for him to do the same. "Ready?"

N raised his free hand. "One, two - "

"Three!"

They pressed their palms flat against the charged rock. Instantly a physical shock shivered through their bodies – just a tiny one, really, a tickle of electricity, but a jolt nonetheless, making their very bones quiver. White laughed out loud, and, watching her, N couldn't help but smile too; the spark shivering through his body, small as it was, made him feel like he was strong enough to do whatever he wished. As one, they withdrew their touch, though rather reluctantly. N tightened his fingers around hers.

"Did you know you've been chosen?" he said quietly. She didn't respond, so he continued. "I told Ghetsis about you, Cheren, and Bianca. Those three men you met… The Shadow Triad. He used them to find out more about you. And you've been chosen. Cheren is focused solely on strength. Bianca has resigned herself to her apparent weakness. But you… you are a neutral presence. So… Team Plasma will be testing you. You're the one chosen to challenge us. Me."

_I chose you._

"But we already knew that," White said. "Didn't we?"

"And now everyone will know," N said. Though his hand was still tingling with residual energy, he reached out and touched her face and her hair. Sparks flew from his fingertips. "Show them what kind of trainer you are, White. Show them that you have the abilities to meet me in battle. I'll be waiting, all right?"

There was so much more he wanted to say - and so much more he wanted to hear _her_ say. But he could feel the Shadow Triad's eyes upon him, beckoning him, demanding that he let White face the test on her own. White nodded decisively.

As she hurried away from him, thoughts of her began to flood N's mind, eclipsing all others. There were so many memories and moments with her that his dream, his beautiful utopia, began to blur and fade, lost behind a film of gray as her brightness took prominence in his mind. The only distinct thing he knew was her.

_No. _No!_ Perfection is what I know, what I dream of, what I believe…_


	4. IV

She emerged from Mistralton Gym looking exhausted but happy. Before N could say anything, she noticed him and grinned. She stepped close and grabbed his hand warmly.

"We're seeing more and more of each other now, aren't we?"

"So it would seem," said N. "You beat another gym leader?"

White flashed her shiny new badge at him. "I'm just doing a lot of winning lately, aren't I? First you, then - "

"I get it," N interrupted, but he could tell, somehow, despite having so little experience with such matters, that she was just teasing him. Still, the talk of battles, the memory of their recent fight, dampened much of the happiness he felt from just being around her. He glanced at her sidelong. "White, do you still think that battles are for getting to know each other better?"

White dropped his hand so she could cross her arms defiantly. "Yes, I do!"

"They're not," said N emphatically. He couldn't help but try once more to sway her. "Can't you see that battles are just a competition? All they do is cause harm! I don't know why I'm the only one who feels this way… but perhaps… perhaps your Pokémon will understand. Let me talk to them. Please."

Deep inside, he realized it was futile. He had seen, heard, _felt_ the bond between White and her Pokémon… but it had always been secondhand. Perhaps there was a slim chance he had been mistaken, and all his beliefs would then be justified… All that he had known, his entire life, would not come crashing down at his feet just yet…

Wordlessly White released a Cincinno from its Pokéball. _Its prison. _The Cincinno was full of energy, though it bore a few scrapes from its recent battle, no doubt. But the shine of its fur and the sparkle in its eyes were undeniable, undefeatable.

"So, Cincinno," he said, stroking its smooth pelt, "tell me about White? What's her story? What's she like?"

_She's the best of all,_ said the Cincinno as it nuzzled N's palm in a friendly manner. _She's always kind. We work really hard together, but at the end, she'll give me berries. And when we win together, it's the best feeling in the world! She's taken me to see so many sights, like her hometown, Nuvema Town, and I've met so many friends… I wouldn't want to be away from her for anything._

N pulled his hand away. Cincinno leapt back towards White, scrambling gracelessly onto the girl's shoulder, and White laughed as she patted the Pokémon mischievously on the nose. "So? What did she say about me?"

"She trusts you," said N. "Somehow… your Pokémon trusts you."

"Of course. They all do. Because they're my friends, and we battle for the same ideals."

_If only. If only White were the whole world._

"All right then, N," said White, crossing her arms again. "You know so much about me, from your little Shadow Triad and my Pokémon… I think it's time that you tell me a little bit about yourself. All I know about you is what you told me in the Ferris wheel back in Nimbasa City, and that's not enough, not nearly enough. So. Spill. Where do you live? Where did you grow up?"

N blinked. Now that he thought about it, he supposed it was only right, only fair, that he share an equal amount of information about himself as he had discovered about her. He believed in fairness and equality, yet still… "I can't."

"_Can't?_"

"But you will know… someday. Someday soon," N added hurriedly. "But I can't tell you now."

"Why not?"

Unbidden, images of Ghetsis floated through his mind, telling him of his destiny; of Concordia and Anthea, teaching him kindness and compassion; of weak, battered Pokémon, coming to him for care and shelter; of bright-colored toys and a glistening underground castle, a palace of perfection. How could he explain his past… when all that mattered was his future?

"Do you know of the old legend?" asked N suddenly. "Of the Light Stone and the Dark Stone, the items that will awaken the two legendary dragons that created Unova?"

Now White looked cautious, a little confused. She held Cincinno close to her heart, and the Pokémon curled comfortably in her arms. "What about them?" White said.

N spoke quickly, before he lost his nerve, before she shattered his truth. "I'm going to resurrect one of them. I am the hero of the legend who will awaken them in their new form… I will become its friend, and use its power to show the world the righteousness of my dream. I will not have to use force. My mere presence, together with the legendary dragon, will be enough the sway people's hearts to my ideals, my truth. And the world will become a dream. Perfection."

As he spoke, his heart swelled with fervor and passion; he saw himself and the dragon surrounded by freedom, by perfection. So near had he been to losing sight of it that the renewal of his belief came as an almost physical blow, so much so that he had to pause and close his eyes. When he opened them again, it was to see White, staring at him with tears in her piercing eyes. Cincinno's happy voice echoed in his ears.

"There will be a price to pay. Pokémon and trainers who care about each other, like you, White, you and your Pokémon…" N reached for her, and though she accepted his outstretched hand, she still frowned.

"And why is that price acceptable?" she said. Each word was slow and deliberate. Her fingers were clutching his with almost painful force. "How do you _know_, N, that the majority of people and Pokémon want what you want? _How do you know?_"

He had always known. From the time he was a child, everything he had ever known was the suffering of Pokémon, and so it had to be the truth. _It has to be._

"It breaks my heart a little," he whispered. He opened his mouth again, intending to apologize, to tell her such separation was a necessary evil, that he regretted it, that he loved her, and would rather live in her world, her impossible world…

But no such words emerged. All he could do was leave her there and proceed on his own to challenge his fate.

* * *

><p><em>Out of his building blocks, N constructs a masterpiece. At first, he creates a solid block, then carefully takes away each of the center pieces of the sides. Unsupported blocks fall; his creation disintegrates. But he does not give up. He works late into the night, his eyes burning with tiredness. With careful workmanship, he affixes certain blocks together so the universal support is solid. His plain building blocks, with the additions of his neat nails and screws, become complex and beautiful.<em>

_There is something almost magical, he thinks, about his desiccated cube. He calculates how it contains infinite surface area and zero volume. Everything, yet nothing: a paradoxical existence. He wonders if Ghetsis would be proud of such a creation._

_With many different sets and sizes and colors of his blocks, he constructs these cubes. Only to the smallest one does he affix a silver keychain, which he then hangs from his belt. It is his thirteenth birthday present to himself, he decides. Cradling it in his palm soothes him. The empty infinity of its shape brings peace to his heart, making him forget the pain of the imperfect world he has seen during the day. Finally, his eyes close, and he dreams of nothing._

* * *

><p>He couldn't tell if it was the floor that was trembling or just his knees. All he knew was the power flooding through him, hot and sweeping, as the small stone in his hand burned into life, literally burned; he knew he would have a scar on his palm forever. But he did not cry out. His voice was stuck in his throat, frozen with awe, as the beast of legend emerged and graced him – him alone - with its presence.<p>

"Reshiram," N breathed into the scalding air. It was so hot that his clothes were sticking to his body, drenched in sweat. Heat haze filled the tower until all N could see was Reshiram's bright form. The time had come.

"Join me!" he yelled. "Please, Reshiram, join me, and I will bring you the world of your dreams, where no humans exist to make you suffer. Just a few more fleeting days in confinement, and then I will free you, and you will be the ruler of utopia, you alone. You will live in peace and freedom, and I can help you. You have chosen to appear before me, Reshiram… which must mean…"

Reshiram interrupted him with a roar. Not even N could make out its meaning, not yet. But as N lifted his Pokéball high into the air, waiting, heart pounding…

Reshiram's powerful wings lifted it up into the air. With a blast of fire, Reshiram shot towards N – and vanished. The little dot on N's Pokéball pinged red four times, then settled. The metal sphere was suddenly warm in his palm.

Silence echoed around the open chamber. The blazing heat dissipated almost at once, and a gentle spring breeze cooled N and soothed his racing heart. Reality began to sink in as he stared at the Pokéball, warm in his palm. He had done it. He had captured Reshiram, and now he had the power, the influence, to achieve his lifelong goal…

"N?"

It was White. Of course she would be here. When he blinked, looking up at her, he still saw Reshiram's fire burning behind his eyelids.

"I've done it," N said. "I've done it, White. The legendary dragon and I… We are partners now… Partners with one goal, one mind, one heart. How can anyone deny me, when Reshiram has chosen me as its companion? Its hero?"

White was staring at him, her expression somewhere in between shock, fear, and pity. She opened her mouth, then closed it again, confused. Perhaps she needed further proof.

"Look!" N exclaimed.

With all his strength, he tossed the Pokéball high into the air. From its depths, Reshiram appeared, roaring with all its might, and this time N understood its words.

_A hero has been chosen once more._

"Yes," N gasped. "Yes! I am the hero! Do you see, White? Do you understand? With this Pokémon by my side, my dream will become reality. Reshiram will be the last Pokémon ever to be imprisoned by humans… Together we will herald a new world, just as Reshiram did so long ago." N stared at the world below, the lake and the trees and the sun. "You may think this world is beautiful… but it is nothing, _nothing_, compared to the perfect one that we will create."

Slowly Reshiram settled its powerful legs on the marble floor of the tower. Heat still emanated from its body, but it was not oppressive this time. N approached the great beast and touched its nose gently. He turned to White once more, his heart alight with Reshiram's fire.

"Remember, White," N said. "You are the chosen one, too. I believe there can be two heroes of Unova. Find the Dark Stone, release the Pokémon inside, and discover the truth for yourself. Then, only then, will we commence our final battle and learn which world is truly most ideal. Yours or mine. That dream of yours… fight for it, White, just as I have fought – and will continue to fight – for mine!"

At first, White didn't reply. She took careful, steady, slow steps toward N, never dropping her gaze. When they were so close that N could have kissed her with just a tiny tilt of his head, White nodded, fiercely. Her eyes were glistening slits that N couldn't read. Without a word, she turned and ran down the crumbling stairs. For a moment N stared after her. Then Reshiram nudged him, studying him out of one brilliant blue eye, and N remembered his victory. He touched Reshiram's smooth skin and smiled, his thoughts lingering on White, his heart racing with anticipation as he imagined their coming battle.

* * *

><p>White was the last person on the scene of Alder's defeat. She glanced around, her eyes flicking over Alder, on his knees; Cheren, wide-eyed with shock; N, flush with victory.<p>

"What happened?" White exclaimed. No one spoke. She appealed first to Cheren. "Cheren, why…?"

Cheren only stared at her blankly. It was N who responded.

"It is over. That's what happened," he proclaimed, spreading an arm out to display the scene behind him. "Thanks to Reshiram, I have defeated the champion – and now, I am the one with the power. The strongest trainer in Unova. When I speak, people will listen! You, Alder – your soft heart, broken by the Pokémon you lost to illness… your misery is your weakness, breaking you - "

"Stop it!" screamed White. "You're not yourself, N, you're drunk on that power - stop saying such cruel things to him!"

N stared at her, and to her relief, he looked ashamed – but it only lasted a moment. His expression hardened once more, and then he was looking past her, as if blinded by something only he could see. "In the future I envisioned… You obtain a stone. The Dark Stone. You become my opponent. I can feel that it has happened… But this is not the place for such a magnificent fight. Behold!"

His arm shot high into the air. Out of nowhere, the floor began to shake; White nearly lost her footing as an almighty crash echoed around the small room. Through the windows, through the broken walls, White watched in horror as a gigantic, black, spectacular palace emerged from the very earth, like hell's gate itself rising to the surface. Yet the castle also possessed a certain elegance, a potent grace, as if it could invade the heavens in all its dark glory.

"What has just appeared around you," said N softly once the rumbling stopped, "is Team Plasma's castle. My castle. From here, all will hear my voice. But first, White… you must come and meet me there, with your stone, so we may see once and for all whether Pokémon will be liberated, or whether Pokémon and people will live together…"

With that, N disappeared up the steps into his palace. Alder, Cheren, and White could do nothing but gape. At last, the other two turned to White, and Cheren said, "Go, White. It's up to you now. We'll be there as soon as we can, but…"

He motioned at the supine form of the Champion. White understood. The weight of what she had to do settled on her shoulders, making each step up the staircase to N's towering mansion a battle in and of itself. But she thought of him, waiting for her, his eyes blazing with his future… she thought of her Pokémon, beside her, guiding her…

White dashed forward with renewed purpose. Her heart raced as fast as her feet.

* * *

><p>As soon as she turned the corner, leaving the Seven Sages and the Unova Gym Leaders to their heated battles, silence settled over the corridor unnaturally fast. White's feet began to ache; they were pounding and pounding, forever running down smooth, spacious corridors and up shimmering staircases onto yet more floors of dark marble. She longed to find N, and so she forced herself to check every room, for if he were there, she had to know, had to find out…<p>

Shadows traced her every move. Every now and then, a shadow that was not her own would point her in one direction, into a certain room or up a specific staircase, and she would follow blindly. At the shadow's guidance, she stumbled into a high-ceilinged room, the same as all the others she had seen, save for the presence of two beautiful women standing side by side. White stopped short, gaping. The two women traded a single, swift glance before looking back at her.

"I am Anthea," one of them said, the one with long, straight lavender hair. Her eyes were almond-shaped and gray, but warm nevertheless. High cheekbones, a slender nose, and a narrow chin gave her face an almost carved look, hauntingly beautiful. She wore no makeup, but a natural glow suffused through her pale skin. When she smiled, all White's worries seemed to disappear; the woman's kindness was so apparent, so genuine, so touching. The woman rested her smooth-palmed hand on White's forehead. Suddenly, White's feet stopped aching; her exhaustion vanished. She could feel that her Pokémon were rejuvenated as well.

"Thank you," White breathed. "Who… who are you, again?"

"At the request of Ghetsis, I helped raise my lord N," said Anthea, a shaking hand tucking White's mess of hair neatly behind her ears, threading out all the tangles. Her voice, even when speaking, carried the light lilt and swaying rhythm of music, soothing White's anxious heart. "He is a remarkable boy. He truly loves Pokémon more than anything. And… he will do anything for what he believes."

Anthea stepped back. Her legs appeared to be trembling.

"You raised N? Did he… did he live here?" White said. "What was he like? How did he… he…"

She did not know what she was going to ask. She wanted to know everything. White's gaze remained fixed on Anthea and her understanding smile until the other woman stepped forward.

This woman was taller than Anthea, but her face was rounder, her cheeks naturally pink. Her blonde hair fell in perfect waves around her face, framing and highlighting her wide, honest eyes, softened with compassion. "I am Concordia," she said, nodding to White. "I, too, have raised N since he was a little boy. He could never see the outside world. He only knew the Pokémon that Ghetsis brought him, Pokémon that had been hurt by their trainers. I taught him all I could about reality. But his passion was always for Pokémon, for freeing them from those who oppressed them. Deep in his heart, I think, he has learned that oppression is not the default state between people and Pokémon… but his beliefs are so strong that he is blinded. It is not a false dream he worships. He truly does desire it. But he is innocent of many truths of this world… and there is nothing more beautiful, nor more terrifying, than innocence."

_N was here. Ghetsis was here. This was his life…_

Disparate thoughts and ideas swirled in White's mind, and she couldn't make sense of them, not yet. She closed her eyes tight, trying to think.

Concordia found White's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. Together, the two women said, "Find him, White. Teach him. Show him the right way…"

White backed out of the room almost unconsciously.

"Thank you," she said again, opening her eyes. "Thank you. I'll… thank you!"

She found herself longing to continue looking at Anthea and Concordia and to listen to them as long as possible, but some stronger force pulled her towards the top of the castle. She ran out of the room and flew up another staircase, turning into the first door she saw, expecting more high-ceilinged marble.

But it was as if she had stepped into a different world. A different time. It was a room covered in plush, bright colors, with all sorts of toys scattered all around the floor as if a child had just left the scene. There was a skate ramp, a flying airplane, a basketball net, a miniature train track with the train cars still in a neat row. Boxes of toys littered every corner, plastic figurines of Pokémon and wooden building blocks spilling over the edges.

Trancelike, White explored the room. She picked up the basketball, still fully inflated, and tossed it through the hoop with a perfect swish. It rolled back to her, its bounce muffled by the plush carpet. When it came to a stop at her feet, she noticed a word scribbled on one of the lines in white marker. _Harmonia_. It was written in a child's precise hand, as if still guided by the lines of a school notebook.

White touched the toy trains, ran up and down the skate ramp, stared at the odd geometric pictures on the wall. She knew where she was as certainly as if one of the shadows had whispered it in her ear. This was N's room. Why it made her tremble, she didn't know. Anthea's and Concordia's words echoed in her mind, as did that one conversation with N, when he said he couldn't tell her about his past, _couldn't_, and yet here she was, standing in the world of his youth… So small. So confined.

Little bits and pieces of information began to merge together and fall into place in White's mind. Ghetsis built this palace – this prison – for N. Ghetsis enlisted Anthea and Concordia to raise the boy; Ghetsis surrounded him with only those Pokémon that had suffered. It was Ghetsis who had crowned his son as "king," Ghetsis who had collected Team Plasma… Ghetsis who had shaped N's heart and soul…

Her feet were moving so fast now that she could barely control them. She ran until her muscles screamed, and then ran more, charging up a final stairway until she skidded – literally skidded on the slick marble – to a halt in front of none other than Ghetsis himself, guarding two towering, gleaming doors.

"You," she gasped.

"Yes, me," Ghetsis said. His word dripped with icy intent. "Your goal is just beyond these doors. I must admit, I never thought you'd make it this far. But no matter. My N will defeat you, and I – no, Team Plasma – will gain the power to rule – free – the world! My world will be perfect, free of interfering wretches like you… All it will take is one battle, little girl." His eyes narrowed, and his mouth twisted in a cruel travesty of a smile. "You'll shatter like glass in front of N's power. His dream is his life… and it will become the life of all that breathes! Who do you think you are to stop him? Go ahead and try!"

Ghetsis stepped aside, swinging his arm wide, a cruel smile twisting his face, taunting her. White longed to lash out, to spit at him, to curse him, to fight him… but there were more pressing matters now. N was behind those heavy doors. She could feel it as surely as if a magnetic charge were pulling them together.

_I'll find him. I'll show him. Together with my Pokémon, my friends, I'll show N the truth._

Taking a deep breath, White charged forward, threw open the doors, and ran to meet him.


	5. V

He knew she would come. He knew it, and yet it wasn't until he heard her burst through the doors that he realized he had been holding his breath in mounting anticipation. She was still quite a ways away, separated from him by the long, carpeted corridor, so he left his throne and walked down to meet her in the center of the room. The first thing he noticed was that she was breathing hard, yet the reason didn't seem to be exhaustion. He knew her well enough that he could tell by the light in her eyes and the steadiness of her stance that she was ready for anything.

"So. The time has come at last, hasn't it?" said N. "Do you have the Dark Stone?"

White nodded, never taking her eyes off him.

"Reshiram and Zekrom… they were once one life. One entity. Complete opposites, yet the same." N paused, and in the flash of her eyes he could tell – they were thinking the exact same thing. _We are our opposites._ "It's time to see if the legends are true, White. If there can really be two heroes, chosen by each of the legendary dragons. Reshiram! Come to me!"

As Reshiram roared into life, White's eyes widened, but she wasn't looking at the white dragon. She glanced instead at her bag, where a sparkling black ball suddenly floated into the air, electricity bouncing off its sides. Instinctively, N backed away, but White's eyes were glowing with its light. She stepped forward without hesitation, waiting for him, watching…

And then, just as Reshiram had done for him, so too did Zekrom emerge from singularity. A towering column of black, Zekrom howled into the chamber and the sound echoed off every wall, bouncing and magnifying until it was earsplitting. A crackle split the air as Zekrom's tail charged into life, a blinding electric blue.

"Do it, White!" yelled N, though he wasn't sure she could hear him over the cacophony. "Befriend Zekrom! Prove yourself as the second hero!"

White didn't need his words. Her Pokémon was already out. At such a distance, N could not make out what she was saying, but he could see that her and her Pokémon – an Emolga, so small, so dwarfed by Zekrom's mass that it was almost comical – were battling their hearts out. The little Emolga's advantage was its speed. Darting around Zekrom, it managed to shoot out little bolts of electricity that the larger Pokémon couldn't deflect, and nor could it aim well enough to bring Emolga down. Eventually, Zekrom was radiating too much energy that was not its own, paralyzed by the extra electricity.

Emolga disappeared. Instead White released a Mienshao, who struck out at once with powerful kicks. Here, Zekrom was able to land a few hits, but Mienshao endured, until finally both Pokémon were panting from exhaustion.

_Now. Do it now_, N thought desperately.

White held a pink Pokéball in her hand.

_A Heal Ball?_

White tossed it high into the air – it landed square between Zekrom's eyes. In a flash, Zekrom was gone, and the Heal Ball was trembling on the floor. N found his fists clenched so tight that his fingernails were digging furrows into his palm.

And then the ball stilled. Zekrom was hers.

"Yes!" White shouted, jumping and punching the air like a child. "We did it!"

She rushed forward to hug her Mienshao, strengthening it with a potion from her bag, then picked up her new Pokémon. Something in her bag beeped. White pulled out the Pokédex and Emolga's Pokéball, then kissed its surface and set it on the glowing Pokédex. "Bye, Emolga. See you soon – thanks for everything!"

The Pokéball disappeared, no doubt sent to her PC box. _Another prison, _N thought, his hands trembling slightly. White stowed the Pokédex, returned Mienshao to its ball, and clutched her new Zekrom tightly before meeting N's eyes again.

"So it's true," N breathed. "There can be two heroes, after all." He tightened his hands into fists to stop the shaking. He had the sudden urge to smile, too. It was just as he had imagined. He had been right all along. She was destined to challenge him.

"So it seems," said White. Her expression was very guarded, and N could not take this uncertainty much longer. They had to battle. They had to know whose ideals were truest.

N extended the hand that held Reshiram's ball. He was gripping it so tightly that his knuckles were white. He could not shake his tension; so much was now at stake. "What I desire is a world for Pokémon, and Pokémon alone. I will separate Pokémon from people, so Pokémon can regain their original power. It's time to settle this once and for all! My determination is absolute! I will prove the value of my beliefs even if my Pokémon friends get hurt! Since you've come this far, I believe you are equally unyielding. If that's so, prove it to me! Show me the depth of your determination!

"Don't disappoint me, White. You know that I have grown to… to like you. Through our battles, I started to think that you might be a trainer who truly cares for Pokémon. That perhaps, there were others like you… But I was kidding myself. Returning here has helped me see that. The idea of trainers getting to know Pokémon through battles is ridiculous! You have two options now, White – challenge me to a battle you can't win, or leave this place and watch the birth of a new world where Pokémon are free of people…"

Without meaning to, he had closed the space between them; perhaps she had moved closer, too. By the end of his speech, he was whispering; they were standing so near. Her proximity made his heart skip a beat.

"Shall we?" he finished breathlessly.

"Let's go!"

They leapt away from each other, ready to fight. Fittingly, N called Reshiram to the field first; White called Zekrom. The two Pokémon stared each other down, circling, blazing with flames or sparkling with lightning.

"Zekrom, use Fusion Bolt!"

"Reshiram – Fusion Flare!"

The two attacks met in midair with an earsplitting crash of energy. It was a miniature explosion, and in its aftermath, the battle began in full force. Attack after attack, relentless and shockingly, scorchingly painful. All N could do was suffer through it, hating what he was doing, every blow to the Pokémon like a blow to his own heart.

White recalled Zekrom and instead released a familiar face – a Samurott, evolved from her first ever Pokémon. Strong as her brand-new bond had been with Zekrom, it was as nothing compared to the unbreakable trust between White and Samurott. He could tell just by the way they moved together, the ease with which Samurott followed her orders, as if the Pokémon knew what White would say before she ever said it; they knew each other so well. Samurott had the advantage, and N knew it; at the last moment, he too recalled Reshiram and sent out Zoroark instead.

_I am sorry,_ said Reshiram as it returned to him. N blinked. _I will fight even more fiercely next time!_

_Give me your best! _Zoroark said to White's Samurott.

And so the battle continued, back and forth, each side matching the other in ferocity and skill. Liligant and Beartic versus Klinklang, Simisear versus Vanilluxe… When N's Archeops brought down White's Mienshao, a sudden thrill such as N had never known before brought goosebumps to his skin. Archeops let out a great screech.

_We did it!_

Archeops – and _all_ of his Pokémon – burned with energy, and that strengthened N, too. "Give me more than that!" he shouted to White.

"Just you wait, N!"

White's Cincinno, small as it was, presented a greater challenge than N had anticipated – with trickery and speed, it brought down his sturdy Carracosta, but the loss only made him more determined. Eagerly he released Reshiram again and brought Cincinno down. His heart was racing faster than it ever had before.

And then it hit him. The disgust and the hatred was gone from his body. Somehow, White's enthusiasm, her drive, had infected him. Suddenly, Reshiram's heart became open to him, freed by a rush of battle, and it was impossible – impossible but glorious.

He had no time to dwell on such an astounding revelation. Instead, he continued to fight as fiercely as he could, listening to every word that his Pokémon said, responding with barely a pause; their minds worked as one. Adrenaline rushed through his veins. In the end, the battle finished as it had begun – all of their Pokémon were worn out, save for Reshiram and Zekrom.

"My final friend," N said. His heart was full and racing; his chest rising and falling with rapid breaths. "Lend me your courage once more!"

They began from a distance. Heat exploded from Reshiram like a bomb, and Zekrom's electricity was its equal. N couldn't see through the smoke, but through his connection with Reshiram, he felt the Pokémon charge, rushing to close the distance, lashing out with his claws. The smoke cleared slowly.

Reshiram's legs trembled. Shaking the entire building as it did so, it crashed to the ground, and the chamber filled with the loudest silence of all.

"No…"

The impossible had happened once more. N, the most powerful trainer in the word, champion and hero of Unova, king of Team Plasma, creator of the perfect world - had fallen to White's spirit.

"We were beaten," he said, falling to his knees. Blindly he recalled Reshiram to its Pokéball. "We were defeated." He looked up, desperate to see White, who had run to him and now stared at him, crushed on the floor. "Your ideals were stronger than mine, White. Pokémon and people… truly need each other. They must belong together…"

It was no great surprise, really. He had known it in his heart since the middle of that battle, perhaps even earlier, and adrenaline and excitement had overruled the shock. Silence surrounded him. Silence as his conqueror, his friend, stared down at him, her expression indiscernible. At last, she knelt in front of him.

"But you're right, too," White said. She touched his cheek with a gentle but battle-roughened hand. "Like you always said… Pokémon are such special creatures, different from us. There _are_ those who hurt them, who are so cruel… Trust and love between people and Pokémon are born only of kindness."

N smiled and covered his hand with hers, tilting his face into her palm. Her touch was cool and calming.

"Truth and ideals. Is it possible, White… that both are right? Both necessary for a truly perfect world… We've been fighting over our beliefs for so long… why?"

"That's it, N," White said, and N, looking up, was astonished to see tears tracing lines down her dusty face. "That's it. You're on the right track now, do you see? The combination of our beliefs…"

N remembered the thrill he had felt during their fight, the joy of the bond he had witnessed between trainers and their beloved partners, the simple gratitude from a Pokémon in need, the staggering sensation of befriending Reshiram, everything he had learned in one short year. All from her. Her harmonic battling, even with brand-new Pokémon, her appreciation and love for every Pokémon she met, her open mind, her determined heart…

"I'm sorry," N said. "I'm sorry I forgot…"

Without explanation, N wrapped his arms around White and held her more tightly than he had ever held anything in his life. Her arms gripped him too, fiercely, her tearful face buried in his shoulder. N, too, found himself crying. All else he could do was whisper in her ear. _Thank you. Thank you. Thank you._

"NO!"

Ghetsis stormed inside the throne room. At once N rose, and though White tried to clutch him tightly, he pried her arms away and pushed her aside. It was just in time, too, for Ghetsis shot towards them and grabbed N by the collar of his shirt, making him choke.

"You worthless boy!" he roared, spit flying from his lips. "After all that, do you think you're still worthy to share the name Harmonia with me? Useless!"

With his free hand, Ghetsis slapped N across the face, so hard that he gasped and felt the imprint of his father's hand stinging long afterwards. Scowling, Ghetsis threw N harshly to the ground. From somewhere far away, N heard White sob and cry out something, but he didn't know what. N didn't move. He touched his stinging cheek and then froze there, staring blankly up at his father, his mentor, his protector…

"You are nothing," Ghetsis hissed. "Every day of your youth, I trained you – I filled your head with ideals that would enable my Team Plasma to gain the power to control the world. It was never about freeing Pokémon, N. Idiot child. You never realized. You believed so thoroughly, so blindly, that you could not see what was right before your eyes! With Reshiram awakened, with the whole world listening to your command… Soon, all Pokémon would be "free" – nothing more than a temporary freedom before Team Plasma took them all! I would be the king of this world. But you, N – you have nearly ruined everything! You are nothing more than a warped, defective boy, too stupid - "

"STOP IT!" screamed White. N forced himself to rise so he could see her, glaring at Ghetsis in all her fury.

Ghetsis turned. He advanced on her, his lip curling.

"Stop? Stop saying the truth, girl? Oh, but you're right. It is no matter. I can still achieve my goal. What's to be gained by _freeing_ such useful things as Pokémon? Where they rightfully belong is under my command, and that is where they will be. The only way to achieve my goal now is to destroy you utterly. Because you know of my plan, _I_ will defeat you here once and for all! Who cares if Zekrom chose you as its hero? A Pokémon, however revered as a deity, is still just a Pokémon, bent to the will of its trainer. Soon, all Pokémon will be bent to _my_ will!"

"You're mad!" yelled White. "Mad, cruel, all of it, and I'll never let you succeed!"

"You have no choice," said Ghetsis, his eyes glinting. "How are your Pokémon feeling right now, White? A bit tired, aren't they, after battling N? Oh, the look on your face when you've lost all hope… How I live for that moment…"

Even from a distance, N could see White's eyes widen; she had forgotten, she was in no fit state to battle, her Pokémon were exhausted, and Ghetsis would provide her with no time to recover –

N scrambled to his feet. "_White!_" he shouted as he ran to her. Her Pokéballs were all visible on her belt, so he dropped to his knees before her and laid his hands on their metal surfaces. Clearing his mind, N listened for her Pokémon's melodic voices, soothing them, encouraging them, healing them…

"There," he whispered, rising and stepping back. "Go, White – it's up to you – you can do this - "

"N, I'm - "

She grasped his hands, unable to finish her sentence. Her hands shook slightly around his. N's words spilled out in a rush.

"It's okay, it's okay. You can do it, White, I believe in you - "

"Fool! I will conquer you anyway! _Let us begin!"_ bellowed Ghetsis.

N backed away as White's eyes flicked to her challenger. N's knees shook at just the thought of White facing Ghetsis, immensely, impossibly strong. But she could succeed – she had defeated N himself, after all – surely – surely…

Ghetsis won the first round with poison bringing down her Cincinno, her brave little Cincinno. But White did not give up. With a flying kick, her Mienshao brought down his Bouffalant, and her Liligant easily defeated his Seismitoad.

But all on its own, his Eleketross defeated White's Simisear and Mienshao. N didn't think his heart could pound any harder, and yet there was never a moment's peace, never a chance to think _it's over now, she's got it, she's won. _Not until all of both trainers' Pokémon were down save for White's Samurott and Ghetsis's Hydreigon. Samurott was at a disadvantage; N's mind could not help but analyze the particulars of this fight, distracting him from the emotion involved. It was so much easier to calculate than to feel and worry. Ghetsis fought viciously, pushing his Pokémon far beyond its limits, hammering White's Samurott with excessive brutality.

"Samurott – Razor Shell! Then duck and use Strength from below – aim for its stomach!"

Razor Shell – a physical water type move, ineffective against Hydreigon's bulk. It hit the dragon's face, and he jerked his head and slapped it away as if he were swatting a fly – but that was the two-second opening Samurott needed. White's Pokémon darted underneath Hyrdeigon's belly, dodged its counterattack, then powered upwards with the long horns on its head.

Hydreigon roared with fury. Samurott had attacked it where it was most vulnerable. With a final, definite crash, the massive dragon shuddered to the floor and moved no more.

"No," breathed Ghetsis. "No, this can't be! Get up! Get up, you useless beast, _get up! NOW!_"

When Hydreigon didn't move, Ghetsis recalled it with a screech of fury and stormed across the battlefield, heading for White. His legs shook visibly at every step. "It's all your fault, girl," he spat, raising a fist.

"_No!_" yelled N, running at Ghetsis, he could not, he would not, allow him to even _touch_ her -

But Samurott beat him to it. Despite the Pokémon's obvious exhaustion, Samurott tackled Ghetsis to the ground and held him there as he struggled. Samurott's teeth were bared in a low growl, but he did not bite or attack. Ghetsis screamed.

"My calculations! My perfect schemes – the world should be mine, it _will_ be mine, I can't lose!" He staggered backwards, nearly tripping over his cloak. "I created Team Plasma! My hands alone shaped you, N, my hands alone gathered all this power, my hands alone should rule the world! I'm absolutely perfect! I AM PERFECTION!"

"Not anymore, you're not," came a familiar voice from the doorway. "You never were, you absolute fool."

It was Cheren and Alder. Cheren strolled easily up the raging madman, grasping him firmly by the upper arm. "You're finished," Cheren said. Then he turned to White. "I saw your battle, White. You were incredible."

"Thanks," White said, her voice a little a hoarse.

"Let's go," said Alder, taking Ghetsis's other arm. He swung him roughly to his feet and jerked him forward. At last, Alder turned to N. "I'm sure you have much to think about, boy. I heard what this pitiful fool said. But I know that you were pursuing your dream not because of Ghetsis's manipulation, but because your heart was truly inspired. That's why Reshiram chose you. Now, what you will do is entirely your own decision… I'm sure we will meet again, N, White."

The champion gave them both a respectful nod, and then he and Cheren dragged Ghetsis from the room. Ghetsis stared daggers at N and White.

"Good luck with that, girl," he spat cruelly. "He's nothing more than an empty vessel I prepared for the purpose of meeting the legendary Pokémon! He's a freak without a human heart! Do you think you're going to get through to a warped person like that?"

"You're the freak!" yelled White, making to run after him, but N caught her arm just in time.

"Leave it be," he said. White struggled so much that N had to dig his fingernails into her skin to hold her, and he was afraid that he would leave a mark.

Finally, N and White were left alone, the weight of everything that had happened like lead on their hearts and minds. Eventually White, calmer now, turned to face him. "You're not what he said, you know. You're not."

"Aren't I?" N said, and when White opened her mouth to retort, he stopped her with a raised hand. "I… want to talk to you about something. Come with me."

They walked away from the grand double doors, away from the battlefield. At the end of the hallway, light seemed to glow from the throne very brightly, as if there were a window left open on a summer day. Taking a deep breath – for what he had to say cost him more than he could ever admit – N began to speak the truth that had lain buried in his heart for so long.

"It's about when I first met you in Accumula Town. I was shocked when I heard what your Pokémon was saying. I was shocked because your Pokémon said that it liked you. That it _wanted_ to be with you. I couldn't understand it… I had no idea that there were Pokémon who liked people. Up until that moment, I had never met a Pokémon like that. The longer my journey continued, the longer I knew you, the more unsure I became. All I kept meeting were Pokémon and people who helped and communicated with one another. That's why I needed to battle you. I needed to confirm beyond all doubt that it is true…"

He stopped in front of the throne. So did White. Turning toward her, N lifted her hands in his, staring at them, studying her small, slender fingers. They were so tiny. Though speckled with dust from the battle, they felt pure and clean compared to the crimes staining his hands.

"A person like me, who understands only Pokémon… No, I didn't understand them, not like you. You have met so many Pokémon, and you are surrounded by friends… But I knew nothing of that truth. I closed my mind to anything that wasn't my idea of perfection and acted a fool."

"It's not your fault, N," said White. "You didn't know… but you fought for what you truly believed. And now, your beliefs have changed, but your inspiration is the same – love of Pokémon. So now you can still believe. You can believe in the goodness of people and Pokémon, the happiness that comes with our friendship… Every day you'll learn more."

"What if I can't?" he whispered, meeting her eyes. "What if my thoughts have been so distorted, for so long, that new ideas…"

He trailed off, unable to finish. But then White smiled. She stood on her tiptoes, kissed him on the cheek, and nodded. "You will, N. You will. I'll help you."

"I'm… I'm glad I met you. If not for you, I…"

"Shh. Me too, N. Me too."

They stood there quietly for a moment, hearing only each others' breathing and each others' tears. N resolved to break the silence first, preparing to speak the words he suddenly knew he must say but dreaded more and more with each passing second in her company. The more time he spent with her, the harder and harder it became to do what he knew he must.

"White, listen… You have already taught me so much. What I will do now… I must decide for myself. I must do it alone."

White stepped back, still holding him, but now her expression was confused, almost suspicious. "What?"

"I'm going to leave," he murmured. "I'm going to explore. I'm going to find myself again. I'll take everything you taught me with me and keep it close in mind, all the time. But this is something I have to do. Please understand, White…"

"So you're running away?" said White.

"I'm not _running away_. I'm - "

"However prettily you paint it up with your sweet little words about self-discovery, it sounds to me like you're running away," White said bluntly. N blinked in surprise. "You've caused way too much mayhem here to just disappear from it all, N! First off, look at this place – you've practically destroyed the Pokémon League, bringing up this awful place all around it – and all the people you need to apologize to – yes, partly on Ghetsis's behalf but also because _you_ are the king of Team Plasma, and you separated people from their Pokémon whether they wanted to be separated or not – _you_, N, have a lot of cleaning up to do."

"But…"

"No," White said, holding up a hand to stop him. "_You_ listen to _me_, N. You don't need to do everything alone." Her voice grew soft. "And maybe it's selfish, but… _I _don't want you to go away, either. So please…"

He could not resist. Her precious eyes and gentle voice implored him, and he was powerless. N raised his hand and pressed it against hers, then twined their fingers together. He cradled her hand in his own, sighed, and relented.

"Then the first person to whom I must apologize is you," he said. "To you, White: I am sorry. I am sorry I never believed you. I'm sorry I tried so many times to fight you, to seduce you into my way of thinking. I'm sorry, White… and I can only hope you will forgive me, little though I may deserve it."

White's smile was as warm as summer sunlight. "Oh, N," she said. "I forgave you a long time ago."

Dawn broke over the rim of the massive hole in the wall behind where N's throne stood. Streaks of sunlight streamed across their bodies; they had been fighting through the night. When the new light caught her hair, her face, and her eyes, N's body moved of its own accord. With one hand at her waist, the other buried in her hair at the nape of her neck, N pulled her close and kissed her until the sun had risen just high enough to nearly blind him when he blinked open his eyes at last. He could feel White breathless in his arms.

"Together, then," said N, as his eyes began to adjust and White's face came into focus. "We'll go together."

"Go where?"

"Anywhere. Everywhere. I'll do my duty here. And then, with you by my side, I'll… I'll find myself."

"And what do I get out of all this?" she said, a teasing lilt to her voice.

"The pleasure of my company?" he replied simply.

White laughed and bumped her head against his chest. She tilted her face up toward his and scooted closer, so her chin was resting on his heart, and every inch of her body was very near to every inch of his. She ran her hands down the lengths of his arms and twined their fingers together once more. "Yes," she said serenely. "I get _you_."

Her touch sent shivers such as he had never felt before through his entire body. The only response that seemed natural to him was to wrap his arms around her, so tightly, as if he never would let go.


	6. VI

"_What's out there?"_

"_My lord N?"_

_He stares out of the window of his palace and sees what he knows now is a machinated sky, computer-generated clouds partially covering a plethora of twinkling stars, rather than the mud and dirt of the deep earth. "Is this what the sky really looks like? What you have both seen? What all the Pokémon I talk to long to see again? Open, free, magical…"_

_The windows in his castle do not open. He presses his palm against the glass; if he leans close, he can hear the buzz of electricity that feeds the hologram. Anthea rests her hand over his. Her touch is comforting, though her hand no longer covers his completely. Yet even with his seventeen years, he knows he lacks maturity and knowledge like hers. She has experienced what he has not._

"_Yes, we have seen the world," says Concordia. "A very small experience, and yet one that remains dear in our hearts. Soon, N… soon you will know the same feelings. The beauty of the night sky, brilliant lights at unimaginable distances. The roar of an ocean, the bubbling of a river, the swaying of wind through grass and trees. Nature is where all creatures belong. You, of all people, will be able to appreciate it all the more."_

_Her words paint a beautiful, tranquil picture in his mind. "What if it's not what I imagine?" N breathes. "What if it isn't everything I've dreamed, and I am disappointed?"_

_Both women shake their heads. Concordia kneels to speak to him face-to-face._

"_Do not worry. It will exceed your wildest imaginings. You will learn things that you didn't even know existed. Take advantage. Experience everything you can… meet new people, learn new ideas… Let the world take who you are now and build upon it, shape it into the best version of yourself. Promise me, N… who you are here and now… Let the world open you to new aspects of yourself that you cannot find here."_

_Concordia's eyes implore him, more fiercely than ever he has seen them. He doesn't quite understand what she means. Must he lose himself completely in the world, in all its grandeur, far larger even than his palace? Anthea's hand tightens around his._

"_Say you will, N."_

_His mouth opens seemingly of its own accord. He doesn't understand her fully, but he takes her words to heart, and hopes that someday he will realize what they truly mean._

"_I will."_

* * *

><p>"Where are we?" N asked. White kept the map, though she hardly ever referred to it. Every day they camped somewhere different. They wandered for the sake of wandering. Had it not been for White to give him purpose, N felt that he probably wouldn't have made it; he had never before functioned without a clear goal in his mind, a single task he was set to accomplish.<p>

"I don't know exactly," said White, shrugging. "But it's a gorgeous lake, isn't it? Want to stop here?"

"Sure, if you do."

"It's settled then." She took his hand, leading him to the water's edge. Leading him through living without something to follow. The irony was not lost on N.

White threw down her bag, then tossed off her hat, shoes, and black sweater. She tested the water with her toes. "Ooh, it's cold," she said happily.

N frowned. "We didn't bring swimsuits with us, did we?"

"Who cares?"

Without further ado, White charged into the lake. At first she stumbled, splashing through muddy reeds, but then she reached the deep, clear water in the center. She floated there easily, like a princess on her dais, as if the white patch of sun reflecting off the water were solid enough to support her weight. She lifted her head up, wet hair clinging to her cheeks, and called out to N.

"Come on! It feels great."

With childlike precision, N untied his shoes, removed his shirt, folded it neatly, and set it on top of his sneakers. He deliberated on the shore. "Is it deep where you are?"

"I found a rock I can stand on."

Still N hesitated. White's grin faded; she stopped swimming in little circles and stood. Even at a distance, her posture and demeanor made her gaze piercing.

"What's wrong? Can't you swim?"

"Of course I can." N sighed. "You saw the size of the place where I grew up. Every other floor had a pool… I was taught to swim when I was very small. Usually with Pokémon."

"But you've never gone swimming anywhere else, have you? Lakes, oceans, rivers?"

"It's not that I'm scared," N explained. He struggled to find the words to make her understand. Despite everything she had taught him, this life with her still seemed so unreal. "It's just something I'm not used to. I still as if I… as if I don't deserve these new experiences."

He half-hoped, half-expected, that White would swim over, touch his face, tell him what he said wasn't true, and soothe his fears, as she so often did. But she remained on her rock, still and sure. Beneath the water's surface, the image of her body rippled, as if she were standing in a veiled world separate from his own. She sighed.

"You're so dramatic," she said at last, though not unkindly. N almost wished she spoke more sternly. "You think things through too much."

"How can I not? After what I've done?" A Pokémon leapt out of the water in the distance. Seeing it intensified his sudden guilt. "How can I be here, enjoying the same oasis, breathing the same sunny air, when I tried so hard, so recently, to destroy such peace? I truly believed - "

White cut him off. "Enough," she said sharply. "Stop dwelling on the past. Stop pitying yourself. I know, N, I know – we both know what happened, who you used to be. And why. And you know what else? It doesn't matter anymore. What matters is who you are and what you do right now. So tell me, N. What's it going to be? Are you going to come swim with me or not?"

Once more, N hesitated. Her words were sweet honey, and they hummed repetitively in his head, driving away all other thoughts. How he longed to be able to accept all that she had said… His misgivings began to drown in her words. He did not, yet, have faith in himself, but he had faith in her. Perhaps, eventually, he would live up to that faith.

N stepped into the cool water, letting it lap at his ankles, letting soft mud and pebbles drift between his toes. He soaked his shorts as he walked in deeper, then dove beneath the surface near her rock. Underwater, he circled her and emerged behind her. She slipped from her perch when she turned to face him, and N caught her. For a moment, they treaded water there, bobbing in time as they helped one another remain afloat.

"You're so pale," White teased, spreading her palm on his bare chest.

"And you," replied N. For all that her hands and arms were sun-kissed, her wet white shirt clung transparently to her body, and the skin beneath it was as pearly and fresh as his own.

White only shrugged, but N saw her smile, too. Her upper body pressed against him as her feet floated out, searching for their rock. Once she found it, she pulled him onto it with her. Their toes touched. Their legs tangled, their arms wrapped around one another, and there in the sunny lake they kissed without reserve, without thought. N let the moment linger. Happiness and passion such as he had never known were settling inside him like hot drink. He kissed her ear, tangled his hands in her dripping hair; hers were exploring his face and chest and arms. Their eyes met once more, and White smiled at him.

"I believe you, White," he said, touching the corner of that beautiful smile. "Someday… I will change. I will deserve moments like these, with you. I promise. I'll… do everything I can to deserve you."

Her cheeks flushed bright pink, not out of embarrassment, he thought, but out of happiness. Her gaze rendered words unnecessary. N didn't need them. All he needed was her, here with him, exactly as she was.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** And that's it! Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Happy New Years! N/White is so much fun to write; there's so much to consider between them. ^^


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